King of the Cake Fight

Tell you the story about the tubby from Kansas

I know I was plump for my age

But I knew how to sing and I knew how to dance

And knew my way ‘round the vaudeville stage

Cut all the crap and quit all that slapstick

You ain’t what you’re meant to be

Your singing’s a grace that you’re going to waste

Said the voice of the century


I said: Why be second best?

We’ll see who’s laughin’ last

As I walked out into the stage lights

The king of the cake fight


I made a bet you wouldn’t believe

As I said, I could sing like a bird

I’m gonna be on top of the heap

Without ever saying a word

Now what can I say: The people rejoiced

And they loved cracking up over me

As the boy with the golden voice

Seized the silver screen


I rode my fancy car

Down sunset boulevard

To my mansion by the lakeside

The king of the cake fight


You know how it goes, you know what’s at stake

That fame has a shady side

You make a fortune out of throwing a cake

And someone always wants a piece of the pie

She wasn’t much better when she hopped off the train

A starlet just drifting along

I took her upstairs for a glass of champagne

What could ever go wrong?


She don’t look so well

But what the hell

It’s gonna be a great night

For the king of the cake fight



The king of the cake fight


The king of the cake fight